Interviewing relatives and home sources
How to get the most from older relatives before it is too late, the questions that unlock memories, and what to look for in the family paperwork, photographs and heirlooms.
The records can wait; your great-aunt can't. Everything an older relative remembers about their own grandparents takes the family back to the 1800s in one conversation, and it is the one source that disappears for good. Start here, before any website.
Before you visit
- Ask permission to record (a phone is fine) and explain why. Most people are flattered.
- Take a simple pedigree chart with what you already know, and a few old photographs to prompt memories.
- Prepare questions but be ready to abandon them. The best material comes from tangents.
- Keep it to an hour or so. Offer to come back; the second visit is usually better, once they've had time to remember.
Questions that work
- What were your parents' and grandparents' full names? What were they called at home?
- Where were they born, where did they live, and did they move? Why?
- What did they do for a living? Did the women work?
- How many brothers and sisters did they have? Any who died young, or who nobody talked about?
- What church or chapel did the family go to? (This decides which registers you search.)
- Did anyone serve in the forces? Emigrate? Come from somewhere else?
- Who is in this photograph? When and where was it taken?
- What family stories were told? Is there a famous ancestor, a scandal, a lost fortune?
- Who has the family papers, the bible, the medals?
Ask open questions ("tell me about…") rather than ones with yes/no answers, and let silences run; people fill them.
Handling family stories
Treat every story as true in part. "We're descended from Huguenots" may turn out to be a French-sounding surname from Kent; "grandad was in the Navy" may be the merchant navy, which has different records. Write the story down verbatim, note who told it and when, and then test it against the records. Don't correct the teller; they have given you a lead.
Sensitive subjects
Illegitimacy, adoption, bigamy, prison, asylums and suicide are all common in every family and were all hidden. Don't push; note what is hinted at and come back to it when you've found the record. Remember that the living have feelings about these things even when the people involved died a century ago.
Home sources: what to look for
| Certificates | Birth, marriage and death certificates save you buying them; note the registration district and reference. |
|---|---|
| Photographs | Names, dates and the photographer's studio stamp on the back; the studio's address dates the picture and places the family. |
| Family bible | Births, marriages and deaths written on the flyleaf, often the only record of children who died young. Check the bible's publication date: entries before it were written from memory. |
| Letters and postcards | Addresses, relationships, dates, and the names of people who don't appear elsewhere. |
| Funeral and memorial cards | Exact death dates and ages, and sometimes the cemetery. |
| Service papers and medals | Regiment, service number and dates: the keys to military records. See military service records. |
| Address books, diaries, rent books | Where people lived and who they knew. |
| Newspaper cuttings | Weddings, obituaries, court cases and sporting results that the family kept. |
Afterwards
Transcribe the recording while it's fresh, file it with the date and the interviewee's name, scan anything you were lent and return it promptly. Send a copy of what you found to the person you interviewed; it keeps the door open for next time. Then go to the census and start proving the stories.